O Lord Almighty!
My soul yearns, even faints,
For the courts of the Lord;
My heart and my flesh cry out
For the living God.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
I became like the sparrow\nfinding her home, the swallow making her nest. My home was near the altar of my\nKing, and it changed me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yet somehow, I\u2019m still not quite there. I stand on the edge\nof the Holy of Holies, desperate to enter. I cannot go in, I know that, but my\nheart is heavy with yearning. I gaze at the thick linen curtain, heavy with age\nand ponderous sanctitude, and wonder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What if\u2026?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The bells are ringing more clearly. I look up into the\nmorning sky, a clear azure expanse, no cloud in sight, and an impression of\nsomething weaves through my mind. The holy curtain in swathes of thick darkness\u2026\nand something more. An immense rend, like the whole fabric is being ruptured.\nTop to bottom. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
My heart swells with a bursting joy I\u2019ve never even imagined.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The image fades, but the bells still peal, a faint echo of a\nstartling impression. The sound is something resonant. Something which tugs at\nmy deepest place. I want to follow the sound and drench myself in it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Through sixty long years, I fasted and I prayed. I searched\nfor the redemptive work of my God through my waiting, catching enthralling\nglimpses and captivating shadows, but never seeing my waiting come to an end.\nIn the early days, I was impatient. I was ready for God to act. My heart was\nbursting with passion for the Lord, and zeal for the love and mercy of God to\nbe known throughout the land. All around me I saw hardship and struggle, the\ncountry under harsh Roman rule, and even some of my fellow Jews seemed to be so\nbound up in the law they forgot about love. They forgot about justice rolling like\nrivers, and righteousness like never-failing streams. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But I never forgot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I fasted and I prayed,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
and I waited.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I gaze across the temple courts now as a commotion makes\nitself known. The brightness I caught the edge of earlier is stronger now,\nlines of shimmering light hovering somewhere on the horizon. I shield my eyes,\nwatch the small group standing over to my left. Simeon I know well. He\u2019s one of\nthe good ones. The most righteous man I know, and he\u2019s like me. He\u2019s been\nwaiting for so long. He\u2019s so certain he will see the promised Messiah before he\ndies. His confidence has been a mainstay for me in my darker times, carrying me\nthrough. I squint through the strange brightness and move closer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A baby. He\u2019s holding a baby. A woman and a man stand close,\ntheir faces full of puzzlement, but something else, too. There\u2019s joy there.\nThere\u2019s a lighting up from within. I strain to catch his words. \u2018My eyes have\nseen your salvation,\u2019 he says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My heart leaps in my chest, and the bells ring louder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What could he mean?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He bends close to the woman, whispers words in her ear. I\nwatch as her eyes fill with tears. Simeon stands back, and I look at his face. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Peace rests on him in tangible waves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I move closer. The light is brighter now, drawing me in,\nenfolding me in something I have only dreamed of. Something like the yearning\nI\u2019ve known for so long in my waiting, the desperation to be in the place my\nheart pines for most. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The presence of God.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The bells are ringing louder, the skies resounding in an\nanthem of praise, and I know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\nThe baby gazes up at me with dark eyes so full of innocence,\nand with the weight of glory. I step over to the woman, and she hands him to\nme. So new, so perfect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So holy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I give thanks to God, and know that my years of waiting are\nover. They culminate in this love-soaked moment, in the profound beauty of the\ntiny baby in my arms, who is somehow the fulfilment of all I have been longing\nfor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The redemption of Jerusalem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The restoration of me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Prayer<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Dear Jesus,
In my waiting time
May I know that you long to restore me
To touch my life with your presence.
May I yearn for the place where you are,
Step into the Holy of Holies without shame or guilt,
Because you beckon me in,
You have rent the curtain in two,
In reckless, outrageous love.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\nThe waiting had been so hard. So long. But something was changing. Bells were ringing, somewhere in the distance… Anna in Waiting: A Christmas Story. <\/a><\/span>Share on X<\/a><\/span>\n\n\n